Oh, the holidays!
How did those words sound to you? Celebratory? Anxiety producing?
Holidays are a mixed bag for me, one that shape-shifts from year to year, seemingly changing with the weather. They test my expectations and flexibility along with the joy of getting together.
The years before kids came along, we set a formal table for Thanksgiving inviting relatives, friends and neighbors who couldn’t be home for the holiday. I loved creating a special space for others to enjoy. Fast forward, combining formal anything with kids didn’t compute. Little kids became teenagers and the formal table tradition was reinstated. They’re now grown and married with their own kids, celebrating with in-laws on a rotating basis. Some years distance imposes an either/or holiday choice. One swore off the whole Thanksgiving dinner idea, suggesting that pizza would be just fine! Another offered to happily host everyone at her house but then counted the number of attendees including her husband’s huge family, rethought the suggestion and decided to bring dessert to ours.
So, what’s the take-away? (I’m not referring to food. Although that is an easy option.) I’ve had to examine my expectations and sum it up with one small phrase: Everything changes.
Yeah, it’s still a little disappointing that the image of former, formal holidays aren’t reflected in my current experience. In some ways, it would be nice to have everything stay the same. But. I’ll remind myself, nothing stays the same. Change is the only constant.
This year, as in former years, we’re helping at a food bank. We’re counting our blessings. And honestly, we’re not sure who’s showing up at our house or when. My husband and I like to cook, so we’ll prepare a buffet, not the formerly formal dinner. We’ve invited everyone and will go with the flow. We’ll reminisce about holidays long past, be grateful we’re celebrating another Thanksgiving together, while recognizing how everything changes.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Jane
Thank you for reminiscing all things Thanksgiving. Your story reflected my own experience. I always hosted Thanksgiving but started to add” whoever wants to rake over, be my guest”.
Most have gone their separate ways, as stated, the only constant is change.
I am so grateful for the family, friends and neighbors that add to my life…
Thank you for reminiscing all things Thanksgiving. Your story reflected my own experience. I always hosted Thanksgiving but started to add” whoever wants to rake over, be my guest”.
View lessMost have gone their separate ways, as stated, the only constant is change.
I am so grateful for the family, friends and neighbors that add to my life…
As a child of divorce, most holidays, especially Thanksgiving, were rife with anxiety due to divided loyalties. Now our parents are long gone and we siblings are all in our 4th quarter and done with “shoulds” and obligatory appearances. We get together for some holidays and go our separate ways for others and that’s (mostly) okay. I want to say that I have loosened my grip on needing things to
View moreAs a child of divorce, most holidays, especially Thanksgiving, were rife with anxiety due to divided loyalties. Now our parents are long gone and we siblings are all in our 4th quarter and done with “shoulds” and obligatory appearances. We get together for some holidays and go our separate ways for others and that’s (mostly) okay. I want to say that I have loosened my grip on needing things to be a certain way, but like many changes it’s a work in progress.
Happy Thanksgiving Jane!
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