Speaking to a friend over a glass of wine the other night she asked how my son was doing in law school.
He graduates next week! I said.
Wow, that went fast she replied.
I looked at her and laughed, Maybe for you!
Because here’s the thing… it doesn’t feel fast when you’re steeped in it. Time flies only in retrospect. Twelve years of primary school, four years of college, then graduate school, for both kids. That’s a long road. For them AND me and my husband. It’s not just the years, it’s everything that’s packed into them.
Middle school drama, managing screen time before it became a full-time job, figuring out friendships that changed by the week, and navigating the subtle (and not-so-subtle) politics of kids’ sports. Then come the teenage years with big emotions and bigger opinions, trying to help them find their footing while also giving them space, and being there with a hug when something inevitably breaks their heart.
And don’t even get me started on college applications, the SAT, the essays, the waiting, the “will they get in?” followed closely by “will they be okay?” (so. much. worrying.).
Then suddenly you’re moving them into dorms, then apartments, schlepping boxes up narrow staircases, trying to offer just enough advice without overstepping, and slowly learning when to bite your tongue (arguably the hardest part). And somewhere along the way, they figure it out, landing that first job, and building a life. You get to stand back and think, okay… they’re going to be fine.
It’s hard stuff. And if you tell me otherwise… we can’t be friends. 🙂
That said, I do feel lucky in one big way. When my kids were little, iPads didn’t exist. Dinner out meant coloring books, tic-tac-toe, and endless rounds of I Spy. In elementary school, there were no phones. And by the time social media started creeping in during middle school, most of us parents were at least a little skeptical.
I don’t envy parents navigating all of that now. And I do wonder when my kids raise their own kids will things swing back the other way?
It already feels like they might be. Some local districts are starting to pull things back. Radnor, for example, now expects phones to be “off and away” during the school day. Others are having more serious conversations about limiting classroom use. Even at the state level, Pennsylvania is considering broader “bell-to-bell” phone bans.
Across the country, some schools have gone even further, no phones from the first bell to the last, and tighter limits on screen time for younger kids. It’s not a return to passing notes in class, but it does feel like a collective pause. Maybe we’re realizing we went a little too far, a little too fast.
I was thinking about all of this over the weekend. My business partner, next-door neighbor and soul sister, Laura and I started MainLine Neighbors when our four kids were at Wayne Pres, spending their days learning by playing in the classroom then recess on the roof, and running wild in our two yards after school. This past weekend, we celebrated her daughter’s wedding. Next week, we’ll celebrate my son’s graduation. And our other two kids? They’re happy, settled into their lives and careers, living nearby, surrounded by friends and family. All is well.
Every generation has its challenges. Laura and I spent more than 20 years talking through everything our kids went through, mainly on Adirondack Chairs in the back yard surrounded by our dogs, and somehow, we made it to the other side (with only a few battle scars).
If I had to offer advice to anyone in the thick of it: first is trust your gut… and second, always have a friend on standby who will answer your “Is this normal?!” text at 9pm.
Enjoy!
Regina
Beautifully written my friend. Boy do I love you.
Beautifully written my friend. Boy do I love you.
View lessLove you back. And miss you. We need a date to catch up!
Love you back. And miss you. We need a date to catch up!
View lessAhh, the privileges of aging—with friends in tow. Loved reading this Regina…congratulations to your son on this hard won milestone. And to you and Laura on building this product, remaining “soul sisters” and surviving all the battles that left scars (and, I’m betting, made you wiser and stronger.) Thanks for sharing. xo Sheri (Karen’s friend)
Ahh, the privileges of aging—with friends in tow. Loved reading this Regina…congratulations to your son on this hard won milestone. And to you and Laura on building this product, remaining “soul sisters” and surviving all the battles that left scars (and, I’m betting, made you wiser and stronger.) Thanks for sharing. xo Sheri (Karen’s friend)
View lessThanks Sheri!
Thanks Sheri!
View lessI absolutely agree! I don’t think it ever gets easy…but the journey with good friends makes it a little easier!
I absolutely agree! I don’t think it ever gets easy…but the journey with good friends makes it a little easier!
View lessGrateful for you! Another soul sister that makes my life so much better!❤️
Grateful for you! Another soul sister that makes my life so much better!❤️
View lessI clearly remember when you and Laura were starting your new venture. Looks like it has turned out well!😊
Loved having your kids in class-glad they’re doing well.❤️
I clearly remember when you and Laura were starting your new venture. Looks like it has turned out well!😊
View lessLoved having your kids in class-glad they’re doing well.❤️
I remember that class so well! You and Julie were the best! Thanks Anne!!
I remember that class so well! You and Julie were the best! Thanks Anne!!
View lessRight back ‘atcha sis!! Love you! ❤️ 😘
Right back ‘atcha sis!! Love you! ❤️ 😘
View lessCan’t imagine doing it ALL without you!
Can’t imagine doing it ALL without you!
View lessI’m in tears reading this. I remember the day Connor was born. I remember Hannah and Connor as little tots who helped ease my empty nest syndrome with their smiling faces and wonderful greetings. I can’t believe Laura’s daughter got married. As someone who is well into her seventh decade, I can only say….It’s all goes by in the blink of an eye. Enjoy every moment of the ride. Best wishes
View moreI’m in tears reading this. I remember the day Connor was born. I remember Hannah and Connor as little tots who helped ease my empty nest syndrome with their smiling faces and wonderful greetings. I can’t believe Laura’s daughter got married. As someone who is well into her seventh decade, I can only say….It’s all goes by in the blink of an eye. Enjoy every moment of the ride. Best wishes to all of the little kids who are now adults celebrating their wonderful milestones. Congratulations to the parents also. It’s your time to sit back and enjoy!
View lessGrateful for you! Having you next door when my kids were babies was a special gift! I’ll never forget them playing with your box of tiny toys for hours!Miss you!
Grateful for you! Having you next door when my kids were babies was a special gift! I’ll never forget them playing with your box of tiny toys for hours!Miss you!
View lessAnother beautiful essay, Regina! Congratulations on your son’s graduation from law school. What an accomplishment!
Another beautiful essay, Regina! Congratulations on your son’s graduation from law school. What an accomplishment!
View lessThank you Marilyn!
Thank you Marilyn!
View lessWe came across a picture recently of John and Connor playing together- so many fun hours spent together in those preschool years. Our congratulations to his graduating law school!! Thanks for sharing your story.
We came across a picture recently of John and Connor playing together- so many fun hours spent together in those preschool years. Our congratulations to his graduating law school!! Thanks for sharing your story.
View lessThanks Anne, hope John is doing well!
Thanks Anne, hope John is doing well!
View lessTime flies for sure!!!!!!!! ❤️ Friends help it go as smoothly as possible (and with lots of love and laughter).
Time flies for sure!!!!!!!! ❤️ Friends help it go as smoothly as possible (and with lots of love and laughter).
View lessTime Flies 🙂 is the theme! Here’s to lots more laughter and adventures together!!
Time Flies 🙂 is the theme! Here’s to lots more laughter and adventures together!!
View less